Codependency

People who are in codependent relationships can feel unable to think or act without constantly anticipating what the other person would think or do. Oftentimes, this is rooted in childhood and/or family patterns of addiction or trauma. Sometimes people blame themselves for having formed codependent patterns and end up struggling with the resulting shame in addition to the codependency.

You might be codependent if you:

• Feel responsible for other people—their feelings, thoughts, actions, choices, wants, needs, well-being, and destiny.
• Feel compelled to help people solve their problems or try to take care of their feelings.
• Find it easier to feel and express anger about injustices done to others than injustices done to you.
• Feel safest and most comfortable when you are giving to others.
• Feel insecure and guilty when someone gives to you.
• Feel empty, bored and worthless if you don’t have someone else to take care of, a problem to solve, or a crisis to deal with.
• Are often unable to stop talking, thinking, and worrying about other people and their problems.
• Lose interest in your own life when you are in love.
• Stay in relationships that don’t work and tolerate dysfunctional relationships or abusive behaviors in order to keep people loving you.
• Leave bad relationships only to form new ones that don’t work either.